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"Light up, Light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear"
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- Snow Patrol's "Run"
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Im alone at home now. I know what it means when they say silence is deafening. My ears hurt. Very very much.
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Firstly i wanna say thank you to Ben for calling me after seeing my blog. You are such a great pal. Its so unfair that we arent in the same country. It will make a lot of difference to me. And the talk last night was depressing Ben. It made it even worse for me even though I am very happy to hear from you.
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JJJ has called this blog "dystopic". Well.. ok. Its kinda true. It never rains but pours here. Sometimes it drizzles. But that's just sometimes.
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Just now as i lay wide awake on my bed with all the covers pulled up, suddenly i felt that having 6 hours left to today seem so shocking. Suddenly i felt there's not enough time. To do what? I dunno. I just felt that its so short. Its not that I've not been doing some homework or what, its just like 6 hours... its too soon.
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I think Im starting to feel too much for everything. I think if you were to reprimand me now or just say something bad to me in a harsh tone, I will break down in front of you.
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Someone famous once said that he's too sensitive. He felt too much for everything on Earth. So he couldn't take it and killed himself. I think i understand what he means.
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All this is just PMS i know. But sometimes even being down feels comfortable. I hate it when I become so aware of things. Because the true state of the world and of people is depressing.
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I saw with horror Al Gore's book on environmental damage. And all I can say is you better learn how to swim if you can't. Or just wish that you will be dead when all that happens. OR you can just lock yourself up in your "heaven" and sleep on clouds all day after you die and pray that you don't get reincarnated or something. I'd rather just disintegrate after I die. I have enough of floating ar0und on Earth. Please spare me from it in the afterlife. IF there is after life.
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Life is monotonous you know. You dunno? Well I'm telling you that right now. Its dreary. If you do what you are doing everyday and multiply it by forever.
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You wanna break free from this? What about your parents? Your family? You're not going to care about them? You have the money to break free? Haha. Just put the chains back on and work you slave. We'll all make a chained melody. Never mind about unchained.
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Recently every step I take seems to be so wrong.
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I wish things are not like this.
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Stop deluding yourself.
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"Light up light up
As if you have a choice..."
