Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Very very tired. My eye lids are going to fall down in no time.
Are all university students so exhausted? Everyone in EL tutorial seemed as if they could use with more (a lot more) sleep. I was stoning in class again. All I could was think about was a bed to collapse in.
And then I got home. I wanted to take an hour's nap. And guess what, during that one hour, so many people called me and smsed me! Haha. Quite exasperating!
Cant think or see straight now. Recently just did a presentation for PL3237, which is on Cognitive development Psychology. That module is hell I tell you. Wasn't really sure how to do all those brain stuff and during others presentation, I was wondering how many people in tutorial actually understand what the rest were saying. (Hmm, actually I think they should know more than me)
Anyway, in the introduction Psychology lecture today, the lecturer talked about some guy (yes, this is bad) who is a big shot in the field of psychology. And what I remember (or don't remember) about that guy was that he invented The 16PF! and if you recall what it is, it's something we did in JC. Some personality test.
So just now I went to dig it out. It's fun reading it again. And I saw that I got 9/10 for being Artisitc. WAH! So arty farty la.
And good job prospect includes: English Teacher (Hmmm..The English module is not very easy), Writer/ Editor (I love to write.. About things I feel for. haha. Not academic essays), Art Teacher (Not very good at drawing), Psychologist, Sociologist.
Those are just some of the jobs that they think I may be good at. But anyway, seeing that "Psychologist" thing made me smile. At least Im on the right track? (I hope)
Sociology... Hmm... I heard it has a lot of readings too.
Maybe I can try
- Theatre Studies
- Sociology
- Literature
next semester.
Some how thinking of Literature, I get an image of Razal, with her dangling earrings and all making a fuss out of nothing. Ok yes, I don't like the way she teach. Latimer... yes.. That's another different story. Utmost respect for her. She's great. I still have a picture of her I took with charlene and her on the wall of my room. Haha. But her classes were terrifying.
posted at [11:30 PM]
Sunday, October 29, 2006
I wonder if I can disappear for a while. (Actually I know I can.)
You know, to just not be anyway, hp off, internet off, everything off and do whatever I want for a while. I cant stand uni! The work load doesnt end. Projects, tests, exams, presentations. I feel like just throwing everything down and do nothing - which is everything else other than studying or finding some fucking internet websites for info.
I think I have forgotten what it is to take it slow.
Do you still remember? :(
Today when I got home, my dad was like "Hey where u go? So long nv see u."
I think he felt what i felt. Missing him and my mother. sigh. Well they are going off on a cool holiday together. Happy for them. I dunno why, but I think Im going to miss them a lot!
Somemore today my mother made soup and called me ard 9pm to tell me that she left some soup for me to drink when i come home. Sigh. Im not gonna get that next week... :(
yeah i know.. big girl already. i should be able to take care of myself and my brother now. but parents are still parents. they're so important.
So... Anyway, like Muse's "Citizen Erased", maybe it's "Swee Erased". Sometimes not existing so much is good I think. But am I existing a lot? Not really. Maybe I should fall really sick and have a proper reason not to go anywhere.
My room's too messy to think right.
posted at [11:36 PM]
In case any of you are wondering,
The party last night was great. Charlene Quek, thanks for the great party and thanks to lee lian and Faye and all those who planned the party last night. I think it exceeded all my expectations. hehe. See! A3 CAN actually do things properly and be fantastic at it! =P
So, I was very happy to see everyone yesterday!!! It felt so good to see everyone again. Cos we're all so comfortable to be with each other it felt like home! :)
Ok. Hello to earth now.
So......
This is getting boring. I think procrastination is being my good friend now. We werent so close back then. What happened eh?
You know, in Uni, the projects, the tests and the presentations nv seem to end. How sian. I wish it will. But I'll be having holiday in december!! but then again i'll have to go through November which is super scary... with the end of semester exams. *gulps* can i burn my notes into a big cup and drink it all up?
and it's weird. these few nights I've been getting the feeling that the witching hour seems to come faster and faster. And the night still seems so young! I have to fight with my internal body clock and my awake self to get myself to bed.
and all the booze has given me a sore throat. which is nothing much since i eat lozenges for sore throat everyday. but its a bit worse this morning. sigh. nothing much. i can live with tt.
posted at [12:07 AM]
Monday, October 16, 2006
Hey hey, lovely weather today. So reminiscent of Cameron High and Genting and all those nice foggy places you have in the world. Haha. Who am I kidding?
Ok, I am here (again!) because I am not very happy. (Yeah, I know... this girl is always not happy about something... but bear with me here :D )
So its like that. I was at the MRT station today. As I got up the escalator, there was this girl, around my age, who was wearing a hot, blue, fucking short dress. She looked damn stylish. With white high heels and funky dyed long hair tied to one side and with her funky accessories and bag. She has a nice whitish kind of complexion. But then.... she was not exactly skinny like all those stick insects out there. And ya lah, I'm sorry her BMI is not below 17 or 16 or 15.
So as usual, our society is fucked up. As in really fucked up in the head and probably they grew up with a bullet inside their brain or up their ass or in their nostrils.. whichever one u prefer!
So, while I was admiring her nice sense of style and applauding her courage silently, EVERYONE ELSE was staring at her for the wrong reason. Yeah, I know what went on in their small brains. "So fat! still dare wear that super short dress!" or "Can see underwear or not? *stares*" OR "Wah lau eh. My eyes!! My eyes!!!"
Firstly, FUCK YOU ALL.
I don't know what tt lady did to make you stare at her like that. I don't know what is it with you guys who think that only stick insects can wear a super short dress and show off their thigh bone. Hey she looked great ok? Her nice skin colour makes a nice contrast to her dark blue dress. And look at the pairing of the white heels. Fantastic. At least she was wearing a dress her size, and not squeezing herself into a SMALL size dress. She doesnt look obscene.
And this mothefucker bunch of fucking teenagers were gawking at her and were trying to peek at her underwear.
It went like this,
"Her legs look like pig trotters."
"No lor, pig trotters look nicer than hers."
Fuck. I was rolling my eyes directly in front of them but too bad they were too busy peeking at the underwear. And guess what? they were wearing those stupid ah lian-ish and ah beng-ish clothes. Hey, at least she has style which you bunch of cow dung will never get.
Who ever said that bigger sized people cant look good? Just because of their size you expect them to wear ugly clothes so that you can call them "potato sacks"? and if they wear nice clothes you call them "fat?". Fucking society.
So, anyway, to that lady on the train. I think your sense of style is marvelous. Keep it up!!! And, I think you looked damn good. =)
posted at [9:11 PM]
Sunday, October 15, 2006
"M-i-s-s"
What does "miss" mean? What does it constitutes when you say "I miss you"?
What kind of feeling does it evoke? What kind of ache do you feel?
"Miss" means,
1) To feel the lack or loss of
2) To discover the lack or absence of
I'd say I think the 2nd explanation is better for me now. Cos "discover" is like sth you don't expect yourself to find.
And I didn't expect myself to feel this way now.
Missing someone is tiring. I am getting sick of missing people. Hey if you miss someone so much, we should just meet up. But its never as simple as that. I miss you everyday and night and you're in my head everytime I'm not doing something. But I am ultimately powerless to do anything.
Even as we try to sms each other about how much we miss each other, its not gonna do anything to help. I guess that's why the sms-es are getting lesser now. Because we have realised that its not useful at all. Even right now, you're still in my head. I wonder what you are doing. But there's no point in knowing what you are doing because you're not here next to me.
Feelings... They can be overwhelming sometimes don't you think?
posted at [3:13 PM]
Friday, October 13, 2006
How do I know if I'm doing it right?
Have I done everything that you always wanted me to be?
No?
No.
posted at [12:10 AM]
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
posted at [5:54 PM]
Thursday, October 05, 2006
How do u become a top grade student?
Basically you have to SELL YOUR SOUL.
To what? The devil?
Why OF COURSE! only thing is that you will be selling to the alternative form of the devil. which is S-C-H-O-O-L and B-O-O-K-S.
(fuck. now the other form of the devil seems so much more enticing)
Its not difficult. I'll just have to read my books all day, think about it all day, have no distractions, live like a recluse (in my own room) and install bigger eye bags. I can also delete all "FUN", "FREEDOM", "JOY and LAUGHTER" from my hard drive. I'll just have to be determined and get through this shit.
Im doing all this for the fucking paper ok? OK?!
It's ok. This is what everybody is living for now anyway, i can just join this faceless march with the monotonous soundtrack. There's no need to be different. Everyone is the same. All of us have small brains. So let that be it.
I'll submit to you and give you everything.
posted at [5:39 PM]
Hello. let's cut all the crap short and proceed to what's been killing me.
I hate South Asian Studies. Fuck. Look at the bloody course pack. Its like 235475672341 pages thick and there's 4 pages in one paper. How am i supposed to study all those history with so many long names and different cultures and religions now? It's insane. And all the crap that this module doesnt need prerequisites is crap. Don't get fallen into this trap.
It sounds nice u know. Feminism In South Asia. But bloody fuck, i cant do it. compressed in 2 paragrahps, there are soooooooooo many facts to be learnt. I cant wait to tear the fucking course pack and use it to wrap kacang puteh. maybe i can start selling it to the kacang puteh man. there you will have ur nuts, and knowledge of feminism all in one hand. how cool. make ur money worth. and do memorise those names bcos by the time u've finished eating, u'll go nuts.
i am very tired. very very tired.
posted at [4:01 PM]