Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Sometimes, the state of the world depresses me. I know this sounds so drama-mama, but its not tt way tt im heading towards. Drama-mama induced people will go on and on about how life is not worth living and how they wish they can die right NOW. Well, i wish a lot of people will die right now too. But that sounds so evil and mean. Never mind. And if u've read "Sophie's World" before, they say we live in a world of opposites. Like if u've never felt sadness, u'll never feel happiness and all those philosophical stuff.
Anyway, "Sophie's World" is really a philosophy text book masking itself as a fictional book. Bloody hell. You know when u read wanna read a book to transport urself to somewhere fascinating and intriguing? "Sophie's World" doesnt really do tt. In the book, Sophie receives letter from this guy. and this guy tries to teach her philosophy and we get to read everything in the letters too. so its really like a text book. neh neh pok. But oh well. i havent finish the book. who knows it'll get more interesting.
And talking about books... "The Kite Runner" is a good book. So is "The Time Traveller's Wife". And if u give me more money, i'll go buy more books and tell u what else is nice.
ok! let's get on to school! (and why i wish some people are dead)
Its weird u know. In Uni, u see a lot of funny, scratch your head kind of people. You see all kinds of homo sapiens. Intelligent and smart (which only makes u feel STUPID n INFERIOR n UNDESERVING), popular and well dressed people (and u wonder where they get the money to buy those nice stuff) and of course the last category whereby u want them dead... which is those KIASU, UNFRIENDLY, COLD AND UNFEELING people.
ok omg. tt was exhasuting. typing those words. Ok i dun really blame them for being kiasu. maybe because i am too relaxed and slack compared to them so everybody else becomes kiasu. But cant they just be a bit nicer? and not so "Im sorry i have a group already." and even when they say their apologies they dun fucking mean it. stupid fuckers. i mean they obviously dun even feel sorry. sometimes i really hate this fucking school with this group of fucking assholes. People seriously dont give a fuck and for tt particular person.. i even gave my number so that that person can contact me. fuck. and that person gave me such a fucking late reply tt nth can be done now. cant u just sms me! bloody shit. and its sickening to see ur dead eyes in tutorial. looking so cold. and u want to major in that module.. HAHA.
i wish life was different. at times i am grateful to be in this bloody school. at times i hate it. but like they say. "the grass is always greener on the other side". so I'll never know. i just wanna get away from this shit and this stupid piece of paper that everyone is dying for and just be with the man i love, the people i love.
In "Sophie's World", Sophie realises with shock that she is learning unimportant things in school. Questions like "Who am I", "How did we get to come about" became more important to her. But if we engross ourselves with those kind of questions now, we will be deemed dreamy, unproductive, too self indulgent in our own thoughts. what the fuck is tt.
fuck uni man. I dun even give a damn abt all the courses that they are offering (which really sucks by the way). I rather go learn how to bake a drop dead (sorry abt the dead imagery tt keeps coming up) oh so fucking delicious chocolate cake which will flow warm chocolate when u cut it in the middle and earn buckets full of money. I'll rather be working in Chin Mei Chin Confectionary which is in East Coast and learn about old traditions and how to make the most delicious kaya n butter bun with perfect half boiled eggs and hot steamy coffee in an old cup. and i'd play old 60's chinese music on my ancient radio and make time slow down. and i'd apprecaite how the older generations passed all the old traditions down and i'll be able to speak in dialect. and not be such a shit who cant even speak teochew properly. It so sad. Dialects are going to disappear sooner or later.
I've read this Sunday Times article whereby this reporter was at first sad to let go of old things. but her conclusion at the end was tt its good to let old things go. Do you think that way? do people who appreciate what was in the past think too much abt what had happened? instead of living in the present? I am afraid that at the rate we are all going, we will all lose our roots and embrace "MODERNITY" too fast and too tightly. Its like, hey i wanna build a sparkling, shiny sky scraper. Let's tear this old historical building down because all those people who made this building special are all dead. Its scary. Does mdernity equates to new TALL glass buildings? Like the new national library? People say its nice. i think its shit. Where is the beautiful red bricks and comfy feeling that the old library used to give? where is that special aura that many things happened here? its all gone. and what's left is the cold, shiny surface of glass which ironically feels so empty inspite of its majestic height and countless floors and rooms.
i wish a lot of things are not like what it is today. Like how food comes from something natural and healthy, not resembling some chemistry experiment lists of ingredients in today's food. No processed food, no trans fat. Only good hearty meals which include food that are freshly made. Bread and milk that comes fresh from the oven and from the animals daily. no preservatives. and how we can all grow vegetables and fruits in our own garden. I wish, i wish, i wish. When you wish too much, it becomes wistful thinking. you know how it is. when it is wistful, it gets soft, whispery and it lures u to sleep.
and tomorrow is always a new day.
posted at [12:21 AM]
Thursday, September 07, 2006
0709
4D numbers. quick go buy. okok tts just today's date. haha.
School's started for 1 month already! Im not excited abt sch still. i dislike going to sch. its tiring to make friends with new people. and i dun understand what's the fuss abt this particular Uni when some lecturers read from lecture notes too. but the library is good. well. at least tt's a consolation. and i kinda like the stairs. but not on a hot day. at least its some exercise baby!
Exercise. Yes. well, i got SJ's number now! hehe! I got an sms from her today. very happy. even though it was to tell me she's not going for class. at least its still an sms from her. =D Went ice skating recently too. and boy, once u know how to rollerblade, ice skating becomes so much easier. and its embarrassing to say, but i can ice skate better than i roller blade! haha. Been going for a lot of rollerblading too. I can brake now! its fucking impt to learn how to brake. failing which u will 1) knock into ppl 2) roll down haplessly down a slope and crash (ouch!) 3) have scratches on ur butt. Still learning how to turn nicely. but slowly i guess. its still a long time before i'll be able to do a pointe in rollerblades! i know someone can. haha.
Still running here and there sometimes. and yes! i love running with you too, Evon! Its always so much fun. And the after running activities are usually great too. haha. and IM STILL LOOKING FOR PEOPLE TO GOING RUNNING WITH!!!! If you are available, bored and can crawl, I WANT YOU! speed doesnt matter. I just like to run. Don't worry too much abt technique, correct foot coordination, or breathing methods. like what Runner's World said, "Once I put on my running shoes, I am a runner." Come on! Don't need to think so much. =)
And CHARLENE TAN. im still waiting for ur green light to go for our weekly swim! im becoming like Silas already.
Well other than tt, everything's still the same.
posted at [10:43 PM]