Wednesday, August 02, 2006
I hate this week.
Ok, no. let me start again.
This week hasnt been very enjoyable. It is always not nice when you have to drag yourself out of bed early in the morning to go to school or some previous engagement that u cannot break. Especially so when it is a rainy, cool, grey morning. i just want to lie in bed and rot. But a zillion times this week, i had to force myself to wake up. Such horrible fucking piece of shit.
Also, this week of late, i have been doing things not on my free will, but because some booklet said that i must do this and that and must be here and there at this and that timing. it is fucking irritating. especially so when you were leading a FREE and easy life whereby what u did was based on whether YOU wanna do it or not. This really sucks. and i guess that is how the next few years will be like.
And i am missing everybody out there. I realised i cant hang out with ppl who matter so so so much to me as much anymore. This will really go out to Charlene Tan because we kinda did everything together and spent most of our free time together. And we're going separate ways. doing different things, meeting different people and experiencing totally different life.
I always think this is the last week for everything. last week i am going to sit around the house shaking my leg and doing nth. last week i am going to spend quality time with ppl who mattered. but no. "Last week" was actually last week. it has had gone by. and tell me, doesnt that sucks? Last week was the last time i followed no stupid list of "to-attend-functions". Last week was when i just went wherever i wanted. But as of this week, that has ceased to exist anymore. i am so fucking sad. i fucking hate sch. i wanna burn the fucking time table and all those endless bidding which i have no fucking idea how to do and no fucking idea why they wanna trouble us with.
but it is funny. bcos part of me wants to go to school to meet ppl. to make new friends, to create a new chapter in my life, to learn more. but part of me hates it and feel so tired and crappy.
so as of now, i am sitting on a very wobbly fence, shaking in the wind. maybe... i just need a gentle push (kick?) to enter the new side of the fence.
that said, i still hate this fucking week.
posted at [9:28 PM]
fi-ne
