Thursday, July 20, 2006
Good early morning Dearest people who should be reading this blog and those who shouldnt be poking their noses here.
Today im on the topic of "The Things That Should Never Be Attempted"
2) Do NOT try to imitate the way Clay Aiken sing or perform.
1) NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER ever try and sing ANY Daniel Bedingfield's songs unless you're really Daniel Bedingfield bcos NO ONE, (repeating: NO ONE) can sing with the same amt of emotion and sincerity like him in his songs.
Today Jay Lim tried to sing "If You're Not The One".
Scene: Living room with sofa and television set. Lights turned down. Only sound coming from TV
Gurmit: (Usual Host- like voice)... ... with "If You're Not The One".
Swee: (Alarm bells going ringing in head. Panic. Screams!) WHAT THE FUCK! ARRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!
Song being massacred... ...
Swee: (Sits in silence. Eyes wide open with horror. Breaks out in sweat. Pulls hair and screams silently every 3 seconds. Screams aloud every 10 seconds.)
Meanwhile...
Scene: UK. In a nice tea shop for breakfast. with all those English cups and plates and such.
Daniel Bedingfield: (Eyes twitch. Stomach groans. Acute headache) Hey Matt. Someone is singing one of my songs again. Seriously unless its you, i don't think ANYONE should try to sing my song! Good lord!! ARRGGGHH!
Back in Singapore... ...
Clay Aiken AND Daniel Bedingfield wannabe singer: (looks as if he's asking to get laid while singing) "... ... whether it's right or wrong, and though i can't be with you tonight, you know my heart is by your side"
Swee: (Jumps off sofa. Breaking National High Jump record in the process. shouts in the middle of the night.) YOU STUPID FUCKER!!!!!!!!!! ARRGGGGGGGGHHHH!!! ARRGGGHH!!! IT'S "whether it's WRONG or RIGHT!!"
Clay Aiken AND Daniel Bedingfield wannabe singer: (gives a second of sheepish and "OOPS" look. Continues and smiles to let people know he's smooth and that they are all idiots)
Song died and cremated and ashes thrown into a black hole.
In UK... ...
Daniel Bedingfield: (Headache stops.) Ahhhhhhhhhh............ Its ok now. (Brings Earl Grey Tea to lips) And as i was saying Matt... ...
-The End-
Seriously what else is there to say when you've stepped wrongly on both foot?!
"If You're Not The One"??!
Swee: (Faints all over again)
*Note: Matt as in Matthew Bellamy from Muse.*
posted at [1:20 AM]