venturing into the unknown
when will life be too much to bear? that every second passed will bring a stab to your heart, a feeling of unspeakable pain and hurt, that finally the only option out to relieve/ release you is to be gone.
It's not fun to be teetering with these thoughts.
but i cant help it. i witnessed some girl trying to jump off the building yesterday.
First look when i saw the figure in white shirt and dark bottoms up outside, sitting gingerly on the window sill, i was fixed. immediately i wanted to touch her. to give her a hug. to ask her what has gone so wrong for her. is it really tt bad? what drove u to this? then i suddenly realised maybe what she needed was just a listening ear. someone to show her tt they care. a few times doing the period i was there, she shifted her position around the window sill. she was at the 10th floor but at the 1st floor, the civil defence had already inflated the huge yellow balloon.
it would have been pointless for her to jump. she would have lived and she would have to live with the embarrassment tt her attempt to take her own life had failed with so many people watching her. but at tt point in time, does this matter of face really occurred to her? was she attention seeking? cos i know sometimes i do tt to my parents.
is death really a last resort for many of us? on the way home, my mother talked abt how her mother wanted to end her life too because of how cancer was killing her with the pain. it was lucky tt her sister and her caught their mother in the act and stopped her. dun you get a tinge of sadness knowing this? that the only form of escapism left for them is death. and they are foregoing so many things in life. it was the same case for my mother's friend who was stricken with cancer too. they were worried tt she would do anything stupid so they moved her out of her single ward room. for us young, energetic, full of vigor teenagers, of course we would think suicide is stupid. but why are people still doing it? rejection, pain, hurt, sadness, lost, humiliation. are these the horrible emotions tt lead them to this?
i dunno what else to say.
posted at [4:32 AM]
fi-ne
